“And the Angel said unto Mary, “He is not here: for he has risen”

This is our final week of New Testament. What a blessing it has been to study the gospels and review the birth and finally the Resurrection of the Savior. I was impressed that it was the women to go the extra mile to tend to the body of Jesus, and then find he had risen. Angels told them to run and spread the good news. How long would it have been to learn of this miracle if they hadn’t felt in their hearts to serve him further?

The song “As Sisters in Zion” (LDS hymns pg. 309), tells us that the “errand of angels is given to women”. The sisters in many ways are there for the gentle touches. So Mary and the other women felt to visit the tomb to add to the burial rituals. They were devout disciples of the Savior, and faithful in every way. If we endure to end, we will show we are faithful to the gospel.

A New Principle?

Faithful, a new basic principle of the gospel. I found this article enlightening on the subject. There is more on the site included below.

“For several generations, Latter-day Saint discourse has privileged four basic principles and ordinances of the gospel. In 2004, however, the historic introduction of a comprehensive missionary handbook featured five principles and ordinances in its lesson on the gospel of Jesus Christ. This was followed in 2010 with a revised handbook for Church leaders which, under the heading “The Gospel of Jesus Christ,” lists the same five principles: 

            1.   Faith in Jesus Christ

            2.   Repentance

            3.   Baptism of water

            4.   The gift of the Holy Ghost

            5.   Enduring to the end

This quintet of basic principles now appears to be systematically reflected in all curricular materials produced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The fifth principle seems to have been introduced without any fanfare or even notice.

One of the earliest of these, apparently composed by Brigham Young’s brother Joseph in 1836, was published in a Boston compilation of American religious creeds and clearly acknowledged the Book of Mormon requirement that Christ’s followers endure to the end: “to ensure eternal life, a strict obedience to all the commandments of God, must be observed, to the end.”  Most influential were the writings of Parley P. Pratt. His 1840 Late Persecution of the Church included earlier material, but featured a new introduction enumerating and briefly explaining five principles of “Theology held by this Church.” The first four of these are preserved in the current fourth article of faith. In elaborating on the fourth principle, Pratt lists all the duties incumbent on a new Church member: “in short, to continue faithful unto the end, in all the duties which are enjoined by the Law of Christ.” (Noel B. Reynolds is a professor emeritus of political science at BYU. https://rsc.byu.edu/pt-pt/node/7582)

Let us too endure to the end.

In marriage, enduring to the end is not how we want our journey together to be. Yes, we want to endure getting an education, raising children, working, illness, and commitments to all places we are needed. But I have written how marriage should be, so even though we need to stick it out, we need to enjoy the time we have together. I also talked about being faithful. Let us be faithful to spouse, children, church, community, and country. Just do it!

My husband discovered a nest outside our window in the bushes he was trimming this week. There he saw four eggs and then the faithful couple of Scrub jays tending to them. We read that they will mate for life. If they can be true to each other, how much more can we do to be eternally together? 

We will all face death as the Savior, but showed us we shall rise again!

As Easter approaches, do we feel the joy that comes from a promise that we will live after death?

This week we have been reading the advent of Easter in the New Testament. The burden that Christ had knowing what is to happen, and facing that pain, even knowing that after he will live again. We too know that we will come to a time when we will die, but as Jesus, we will live again. But we must be prepared, for we never know when.

Is the World Out of Control?

Meanwhile, what of the world we are living in? We don’t know when we wake up what kind of horror will be seen in the day. In Matthew chapter 24, Jesus foretells of the great calamities that will precede His Second Coming. Are we standing together as husband and wife to be prepared for the great day of the Lord? Are we frightened, or want to give up as trials seem too hard?

Your Heavenly Father Wants You to Stay Strong!

I read a thought from Elder Holland. He gave four things God asks us to remember in troubling times. 

"First, our adversity and affliction shall be but a small moment. Our trials seem to be long-lasting-or everlasting-when we are in the midst of them, but they do come to an end...Often enough in our mortal struggle, the only response we can make is to hang on and hide in "the shadow of [God's] wings... until these calamities be overpast." Difficulties do pass, hard times end, the trouble we thought would never go away goes away. So there is hope, not simple stoicism, in enduring.

Second, if we endure our challenges well, God will exalt us on high and we will triumph over our foes, whether those foes be actual people seeking to do us harm or simply the vicissitudes of life that bring grief and trouble with them...

Third, we need to remember that we do have friends. Thank heaven for friends! The Prophet Joseph was reminded that his friends were still standing by him and that they would yet hail him again with "warm hearts and friendly hands."

Fourth, in our despair, there can always be a tendency to self-pity. We need to resist that at all cost, for it damages everything it touches...We have many, many blessings, and there are many, many people in the world who face far more circumstances than do we.”

How Does Your Life Compare to Others?

Not that bad, huh? I think my friends and family have blessings beyond good. And when the going gets tough… we all have each other. So we learn this week that in the end, all will be well if we stand in holy places and together.  Rejoice in the Easter message!

Many thanks to my friends who have asked that I continue my blog. Here we go!

I am taking a class of the New Testament, and as the teachings can be applicable to making our marriage better, I would like to post thoughts for you to ponder and apply. Many of us have been married many years, but we need to continue our quest to be the best we can. As Robert Browning said: “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be…”

The New Testament Teaches Us How to Treat Each Other.

Matthew 18:21-22. Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?

Jesus saith unto him. I say not unto thee, until seven times: but until seventy times seven.

In the Teachings of the Presidents, the Joseph Smith manual we find his thoughts on forgiveness. He said: "One of the most pleasing scenes that can occur on earth, when a sin has been committed by one person against another, is, to forgive that sin; and then according to the sublime and perfect pattern of the Savior, pray to our Father in Heaven to forgive [sinner] also. " Ever keep in exercise the principle of mercy, and be ready to forgive our brother on the first intimations of repentance, and asking forgiveness; and should we even forgive our brother, or even our enemy, before he repent or ask forgiveness, our Heavenly Father would be equally as merciful unto us"

I have learned that if we are angry with someone and don't forgive, that only hurts us. Sometimes they are not even aware of our anger. We suffer and the anger only eats at our emotional and mental health.

"Love Means Never Having to Say Your Sorry", not true!!!

Saying “I’m Sorry” quickly will stop the gulf that sometimes grows the longer you let the hurt fester. Jesus said we must forgive everyone, for he has said that he is the one who can judge others. We will be judged as we judge. Ouch! That could be painful for eternity. 

Random thought!

Anyone remember the clown toy that would balance on a rounded bottom? One side was bright orange and the other just plain white. When tapped, he bobbed around showing each side. I like to look only the bright side, the good things my husband does, and ignore the other side. Why be upset over unimportant things? Will it matter next year, or five years from now? Enjoy now!

What does Cleave mean?

We read an article this week titled: ”In Creating Healthy Ties with In-Laws and Extended Families” by James M. Harper and Susanne Frost Olsen.

“One of the first scriptures in the Old Testament regarding family relationships is found in Genesis 2:24: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife." The Oxford English Dictionary defines cleave as "to remain attached, devoted, or faithful to," and "to remain steadfast."

By cleaving to spouses, newly married couples are to be devoted, faithful, and steadfast to their new companions.” Cleaving doesn’t mean you stay right beside your spouse and do nothing without them. We should be able to have many things we do separate. We are still an individual, but we are to think about our spouses wants and show them respect.

Elder Marvin J. Ashton, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, clarified the meaning of this scripture as it relates to newly married couples:

“Certainly a now-married man should cleave unto his wife in faithfulness, protection, comfort, and total support, but in leaving father, mother, and other family members, it was never intended that they now be ignored, abandoned, shunned, or deserted. They are still family a great source of strength. . . . Wise parents, whose children have left to start their own families, realize their family role still continues, not in a realm of domination, control, regulation, supervision, or imposition, but in love, concern, and encouragement.

“In turn, parents may need to give up previous roles they had with their children to allow the new couple to be independent. New husbands and wives must recognize that their spouses still have relationships with their parents?”  

You Complete me!                  

“Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” (Corinthians 11:11)

A statement by Elder Richard G. Scott explains this scripture:

“In the Lord’s plan, it takes two—a man and a woman—to form a whole. … For the greatest happiness and productivity in life, both husband and wife are needed. Their efforts interlock and are complementary. Each has individual traits that best fit the role the Lord has defined for happiness as a man or woman. When used as the Lord intends, those capacities allow a married couple to think, act, and rejoice as one—to face challenges together and overcome them as one, to grow in love and understanding, and through temple ordinances to be bound together as one whole, eternally. That is the plan” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 101; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 73–74).

Another term we talked about was “triangulation”. This is when one of the spouses is speaking with a parent about problems in the marriage, excluding the other spouse. This can happen with good intentions, but bad mouthing your partner is just making them look bad to others. Only tell good things about your beloved.

CTR!!!

One more thing that we studied was finances. Wow! This is a big problem in families and we have been admonished many times to avoid debt.

There are many church articles which help us to be responsible in provident living. One is:“Church Welfare Plan -Catching the Vision of Self-Reliance”

Self-reliance involves several facets of a balanced life, including:

(1) education 

(2) health 

(3) employment 

(4) family home production and storage               

(5) family finances 

(6) spiritual strength.

“All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies.”

—Elder Robert D. Hales  

All Is Safely Gathered In: Family Finances, a church pamphlet, and “One for the Money” by Marvin J. Ashton are great tools for learning about money and provident living.

Happiness comes from choosing the right. We only reap sorrow when we don’t.

What Matters Most

Power in marriage and Family.        

In a talk given by Richard B. Miller, a BYU faculty member, he gave the following advice: 

1. Parents are the leaders in the family.  
“Discipline is probably one of the most important elements in which a mother and father can lead and guide and direct their children…. Setting limits to what a child can do means to that child that you love him and respect him. If you permit the child to do all the things he would like to do without any limits that means to him that you do not care much about him.”(Spencer W. Kimball, TSWK pp. 340, 341).

I really like the counsel he quoted from Dr. John Rosemont: “Give your child regular, daily doses of vitamin N…the most character- building two-lettered word in the English language- NO”. We give too much to children, they expect too much, and do too little.

2. “Parents must be united in their leadership.” This brings security to our children's lives and peace in our homes. Never speak ill of your spouse or disrespect them, especially in front of the children. Don’t allow one parent to side with a child against another parent. 

3. “The marital relationship should be a partnership. In a marriage husbands and wives are equals.

“A man who holds the priesthood accepts his wife as a partner in the leadership of the home and family with full knowledge of and full participation in all decisions relating thereto… The Lord intended that the wife be a helpmeet for man (meet means equal)—that is, a companion equal and necessary in full partnership. (Howard W. Hunter, Ensign, November 1994, p. 49)

(“Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families.” (BYU Conference on Family Life, Brigham Young University, March 28, 2009)

When a couple has a problem on decisions, they should remember the words of President Monson from the following video: "Never let a problem to be solved become more important that a person to be loved."

               

Intimacy Do’s and Don’ts

We certainly learned a lot this week of how our intimate relationships should or should not be. The church has provided a number of articles, quotes, and advice from our leaders to give us a firm grip on expectations for our behavior in marriage.

As a busy mother, I didn’t always take time to listen carefully to conference talks, as it is difficult when chasing little ones in the halls. Also being extremely tired, reading the Ensign was one of the last things I on my list. That is my fault, and I tried, but missed many admonitions and guidance. I would hope young mothers of today might try and make learning from our leaders first.

A gift

I have not thought of the parable of the talents being applicable to intimacy. Jesus said: “For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.”  We are responsible for that we have been given. Learning how to develop our relationship, making it meaningful is up to us. We have been taught from our readings that marriage is a school for love. If we put our efforts in to turning towards each other, we can say that we tried to increase what was a gift to us. 

 

Be One and Be Fruitful

President Kimball has observed: “The Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed. It makes plain that God himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be ‘one flesh’ was as important as his command to ‘be fruitful and multiply.’” (Quoting Billy Graham, Ensign, May 1974, p. 7.)

Your cheating heart.

There are those married people who permit their eyes to wander and their hearts to become vagrant, who think it is not improper to flirt a little, to share their hearts and have desire for someone other than the wife or the husband. The Lord says in no uncertain terms: “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22).

And, when the Lord says all thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving. And, to the woman it is paraphrased: “Thou shalt love thy husband with all thy heart and shalt cleave unto him and none else.”

The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse.

        Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle (1972) 142-43.

Spiritual Fidelity

Stop thinking in terms of emotional infidelity and instead use the phrase, “spiritual fidelity.” This phrase underscores the seriousness of the choices we make because it recognizes the eternal potential of our marital relationships as well as the importance of acting in accordance with the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Spiritual fidelity also causes us to consider the sacred covenants we have made in the temple and how the very nature of our thoughts and deeds can undermine those covenants. In other words, if a person is unfaithful spiritually he is not honoring his temple covenants even though he has not committed physical acts of intimacy.

Successful marriages benefit from honest personal assessment of our relationships—both with our spouses and with others. In evaluating whether you have need for improved spiritual fidelity, ask yourself the following questions.

·         “Are you turning to your friend for comfort rather than turning to your spouse?”

·         “Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even when you’re at home?”

·         “Do you seek opportunities to be with your friend even when work doesn’t require you to be together?”

·         “Do you e-mail and text your friend when you’re not together?”

·         “Have you told your spouse about these messages?”

·         “Does the relationship with your friend take more of your time and energy than your relationship with your spouse?” 

·         “Do you compare your spouse to your friend?”

·         “Would you be uncomfortable introducing your spouse to your friend?”

Matheson, K.W.  Fidelity in marriage: It's more than you think. Ensign, Sept. 2009, 13-16.

The Savior’s Atonement not only has the power to cleanse us but also to change and purify our hearts (Mosiah 4:2; 5:2). As we seek heaven’s help, we can regain and maintain spiritual fidelity. God can give people the power to confess, connect, and change.

All Good Things Must Come To an End.

As the semester is almost finished, we have gotten to the end of “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”. I really like the way Dr. Gottman finishes his book. He tells us by having gratitude each day for our world around us, the blessings we receive each day, and expressing thankfulness for the things your spouse does will make life joyful. This will create warmth within ourselves, be an example to our children, and spread to all we know. People enjoy being around a person who extrudes positive energy.

From this book I have learned many ways to make marriage more meaningful and help our relationship to blossom.

·         Take time to ask questions which allow us to really know and understand a person.

·         Always remember why we fell in love as a couple. Review with pictures and memories of days gone by to create warm feelings.

·          Give admiration and true praise, which builds fondness between us.

·         Make time to do things together to make more memories and grow our friendship.

Raise the Bar!

A study by Donald Baucom suggests that your expectations of your marriage be high. He also stated that a couple will be happier if they refuse to accept negativity and stop it in each other. Carefully watch for signs of growing apart each day. Nurture our relationship daily to avoid having to patch up serious damage later. By spending time together connecting, working through problems along the way, laughing together, having goals together, and supporting each other can only enhance our marriage. That is the life Heavenly Father wishes for us.

Heaven is Where We Want to Be!

I also enjoyed the spiritual lift from reading Dr. Goddard’s book: “Drawing Heaven into your Marriage”. Having the gospel a part of this class makes so much sense. How simple is the message of having the Lord as a partner in a marriage. It is the way to love purely and rise above the petty problems which make relationships unsteady. When we have the pure love of Christ as our guide, we cannot find fault in others. Charity allows all other gospel principles to be in our lives.

He writes that charity, or the pure love of Christ, is not artificial good cheer, a thin veneer of politeness, or while holding our tongues, we judge and resent in our mind. These are the way of a natural man, and we have a choice to live better than that. Satan would have our families a shamble, winning any way he can. What works well, is for family members begin to pick others apart. To find fault and thinking how much better one is over the other. With the pure love of Christ, that won’t happen. We need to pray for that love every day for ourselves and our family.

                                             



Elder Oaks explains what charity is:

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-08-3255-charity-the-pure-love-of-christ?lang=eng