What does Cleave mean?

We read an article this week titled: ”In Creating Healthy Ties with In-Laws and Extended Families” by James M. Harper and Susanne Frost Olsen.

“One of the first scriptures in the Old Testament regarding family relationships is found in Genesis 2:24: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife." The Oxford English Dictionary defines cleave as "to remain attached, devoted, or faithful to," and "to remain steadfast."

By cleaving to spouses, newly married couples are to be devoted, faithful, and steadfast to their new companions.” Cleaving doesn’t mean you stay right beside your spouse and do nothing without them. We should be able to have many things we do separate. We are still an individual, but we are to think about our spouses wants and show them respect.

Elder Marvin J. Ashton, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, clarified the meaning of this scripture as it relates to newly married couples:

“Certainly a now-married man should cleave unto his wife in faithfulness, protection, comfort, and total support, but in leaving father, mother, and other family members, it was never intended that they now be ignored, abandoned, shunned, or deserted. They are still family a great source of strength. . . . Wise parents, whose children have left to start their own families, realize their family role still continues, not in a realm of domination, control, regulation, supervision, or imposition, but in love, concern, and encouragement.

“In turn, parents may need to give up previous roles they had with their children to allow the new couple to be independent. New husbands and wives must recognize that their spouses still have relationships with their parents?”  

You Complete me!                  

“Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” (Corinthians 11:11)

A statement by Elder Richard G. Scott explains this scripture:

“In the Lord’s plan, it takes two—a man and a woman—to form a whole. … For the greatest happiness and productivity in life, both husband and wife are needed. Their efforts interlock and are complementary. Each has individual traits that best fit the role the Lord has defined for happiness as a man or woman. When used as the Lord intends, those capacities allow a married couple to think, act, and rejoice as one—to face challenges together and overcome them as one, to grow in love and understanding, and through temple ordinances to be bound together as one whole, eternally. That is the plan” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 101; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 73–74).

Another term we talked about was “triangulation”. This is when one of the spouses is speaking with a parent about problems in the marriage, excluding the other spouse. This can happen with good intentions, but bad mouthing your partner is just making them look bad to others. Only tell good things about your beloved.

CTR!!!

One more thing that we studied was finances. Wow! This is a big problem in families and we have been admonished many times to avoid debt.

There are many church articles which help us to be responsible in provident living. One is:“Church Welfare Plan -Catching the Vision of Self-Reliance”

Self-reliance involves several facets of a balanced life, including:

(1) education 

(2) health 

(3) employment 

(4) family home production and storage               

(5) family finances 

(6) spiritual strength.

“All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies.”

—Elder Robert D. Hales  

All Is Safely Gathered In: Family Finances, a church pamphlet, and “One for the Money” by Marvin J. Ashton are great tools for learning about money and provident living.

Happiness comes from choosing the right. We only reap sorrow when we don’t.